My husband is home again for a few weeks. It's so good to have him back! This week, I should find out whether I have been accepted for ECT. It could go either way. My ekg was great, but my blood work wasn't. I don't know how my chest x ray went. Tomorrow is the … Continue reading Husband, ECT, Friend
Tag: Bipolar
ECT or TMS
I have a consultation next week for ECT. Yes, that ECT. Electroconvulsive therapy. I hate that it has come to this, but after the disaster in Panama I need to come to terms with the fact I'm not a functional person. So much of my living is impaired by mental illness. The reason I'm still … Continue reading ECT or TMS
Agoraphobia?
I'm back at home now after a terrible trip to Panama. I was on the phone with my health coach today, and she suggested that my experience sounded like agoraphobia. My reactions to cities and other busy places aren't normal. I feel worn out and defeated. The life of travel I dreamed of won't happen. … Continue reading Agoraphobia?
Panama Has Been a Nightmare
I have not done one single activity with the wives. Right now I am supposed to be going to the Presidential Palace to meet the First Lady. I long to go, but my anxiety is too high and my mood too unstable. I have been suicidal most of the trip. Now that the romantic portion … Continue reading Panama Has Been a Nightmare
Sometimes Things Don’t Work Out
I'm writing this from Casco Viejo in Panama. I am doing badly. Leaving the hotel room is a struggle. Twice I have had panic attacks in public. Mental illness is very real. This week my husband has work to do. Our romantic vacation ends tomorrow and we go to a different hotel in another part … Continue reading Sometimes Things Don’t Work Out
Sometimes I Fail
Some days are just hard. Bipolar Disorder takes no vacations. It's full time 365 days a year. Today I have not showered, let alone cleaned the house. I took Angelica to and from school and took care of the dogs. That was about all I could do. I want to be honest about that because … Continue reading Sometimes I Fail
Great Weekend
We had a wonderful weekend. My husband was home Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Friday, we drove across town to a coffee shop my husband loves. Then we got lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings. Saturday was the best day of the three. We went to a gorgeous historic plantation in a state park. I got … Continue reading Great Weekend
On My Own
My husband had been gone for a couple of days, and I have been on my own. Normally, my father in law comes to help, but since this is a short trip, I didn't want to ask him to come all the way down here. So, I have been toughing it out on my own. … Continue reading On My Own
Friends, Depression, Minimalism
For the last several days I have been depressed. It has really been a struggle. Today though, I was invited by H and A from church to hang out at H's house. I looked up her address, and the drive looked like something I could do, so I went. I am so glad I did! … Continue reading Friends, Depression, Minimalism
Back to School, Mood Swings, Alaska
Today is my daughter's last day of Christmas break. I can't believe it's over. I feel like I didn't see her much because when we went to Georgia to visit, she stayed with her grandparents while I stayed at the hotel. Tomorrow morning I have to bring her back to school, and I am so … Continue reading Back to School, Mood Swings, Alaska
Life at Home 