ECT is Killing Me

I started ECT the Monday before yesterday. I have to get up and out the door by 430 am. It takes them about an hour to give everyone an IV, put the electrode things on them, etc. Then they go one by one and zap us. The machine makes a weird, fast beeping sound when they electrocute people. Of course, I don’t hear them zap me. I am under anesthesia for that. But I hear them zap others.

Yesterday my memory got really, really bad. I feel somewhat better today, but still not good. I feel cut off from my personality and thoughts. It’s a dull, painful, sickening feeling. But hopefully after 3 (!) More weeks of this I will be feeling like a new person. That’s the dream.

My creative work is suffering. I am grateful for the opportunity, but this really sucks.

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