Yesterday was my husband and I's eleven year wedding anniversary. We didn't have a babysitter booked, so we took our daughter out to lunch with us and then to go get ice cream. He got me a sweet, romantic gift that is being made as a gofund me. It will be ready in a couple … Continue reading 11 Years
Tag: Bipolar Disorder
Busy at Home
How anyone gets bored at home is beyond me. This morning I am running laundry, picking up, and journaling with chalk pastels. Just basic abstract images, but it's therapeutic. I had to get up at 430 for ECT this morning, and they put me under anesthesia, but for some reason, when I got home, I … Continue reading Busy at Home
ECT is Killing Me
I started ECT the Monday before yesterday. I have to get up and out the door by 430 am. It takes them about an hour to give everyone an IV, put the electrode things on them, etc. Then they go one by one and zap us. The machine makes a weird, fast beeping sound when … Continue reading ECT is Killing Me
Husband, ECT, Friend
My husband is home again for a few weeks. It's so good to have him back! This week, I should find out whether I have been accepted for ECT. It could go either way. My ekg was great, but my blood work wasn't. I don't know how my chest x ray went. Tomorrow is the … Continue reading Husband, ECT, Friend
ECT or TMS
I have a consultation next week for ECT. Yes, that ECT. Electroconvulsive therapy. I hate that it has come to this, but after the disaster in Panama I need to come to terms with the fact I'm not a functional person. So much of my living is impaired by mental illness. The reason I'm still … Continue reading ECT or TMS
Agoraphobia?
I'm back at home now after a terrible trip to Panama. I was on the phone with my health coach today, and she suggested that my experience sounded like agoraphobia. My reactions to cities and other busy places aren't normal. I feel worn out and defeated. The life of travel I dreamed of won't happen. … Continue reading Agoraphobia?
Panama Has Been a Nightmare
I have not done one single activity with the wives. Right now I am supposed to be going to the Presidential Palace to meet the First Lady. I long to go, but my anxiety is too high and my mood too unstable. I have been suicidal most of the trip. Now that the romantic portion … Continue reading Panama Has Been a Nightmare
My Litany of Mostly Crappy Jobs
What jobs have you had? I started babysitting for people other than my parents when I was 11. I put out a flyer on our neighborhood mail boxes advertising myself at $3 an hour. The first family that hired me had a 4 year old daughter and two rambunctious dogs. The girl had a bunk … Continue reading My Litany of Mostly Crappy Jobs
Dieting is So Hard
I like food, especially rich or sweet foods. Because of a botched surgery, I have limited mobility. I can walk, but not far enough to actually take a walk. I am on medication that causes weight gain. In fact, I have been on several meds that caused weight gain. Between these three things, dieting is … Continue reading Dieting is So Hard
Sometimes I Fail
Some days are just hard. Bipolar Disorder takes no vacations. It's full time 365 days a year. Today I have not showered, let alone cleaned the house. I took Angelica to and from school and took care of the dogs. That was about all I could do. I want to be honest about that because … Continue reading Sometimes I Fail
Life at Home 