I hate stress and love the soft life. Current events stress me out badly because I can see so much wrong being done, and I can't fix it. What will be will be. I can't control the world. I will vote and make a difference where I can, but losing sleep over it just leaves … Continue reading Stepping Back From the News
Tag: anxiety
Radical, Sweet Softness
I have decided to embrace a radical softness. I want to be serene, gentle, and sweet. No more harboring anger or getting stressed out or being impatient. Obviously I don't mean the feminist form of radical softness. I don't believe in toxic masculinity for starters, and furthermore, this is all about femininity. I want to … Continue reading Radical, Sweet Softness
Cleaning Schedule
I am thinking of creating a more solid cleaning schedule. As it stands, I just do things as I can when they need to be done - like picking up before my husband gets home, cooking dinner, or mopping floors. But a schedule might help me keep the house extra clean and inspire me to … Continue reading Cleaning Schedule
Company, Tablecloth, Rosary
After picking up the groceries this morning, I invited one of my friends over for a morning of reality tv. It's fun to make fun of it all. We had a lovely morning, but I had to cut it short due to anxiety. I really hate it when that happens. Since then, I have been … Continue reading Company, Tablecloth, Rosary
ECT or TMS
I have a consultation next week for ECT. Yes, that ECT. Electroconvulsive therapy. I hate that it has come to this, but after the disaster in Panama I need to come to terms with the fact I'm not a functional person. So much of my living is impaired by mental illness. The reason I'm still … Continue reading ECT or TMS
Agoraphobia?
I'm back at home now after a terrible trip to Panama. I was on the phone with my health coach today, and she suggested that my experience sounded like agoraphobia. My reactions to cities and other busy places aren't normal. I feel worn out and defeated. The life of travel I dreamed of won't happen. … Continue reading Agoraphobia?
Panama Has Been a Nightmare
I have not done one single activity with the wives. Right now I am supposed to be going to the Presidential Palace to meet the First Lady. I long to go, but my anxiety is too high and my mood too unstable. I have been suicidal most of the trip. Now that the romantic portion … Continue reading Panama Has Been a Nightmare
Sometimes Things Don’t Work Out
I'm writing this from Casco Viejo in Panama. I am doing badly. Leaving the hotel room is a struggle. Twice I have had panic attacks in public. Mental illness is very real. This week my husband has work to do. Our romantic vacation ends tomorrow and we go to a different hotel in another part … Continue reading Sometimes Things Don’t Work Out
On My Own
My husband had been gone for a couple of days, and I have been on my own. Normally, my father in law comes to help, but since this is a short trip, I didn't want to ask him to come all the way down here. So, I have been toughing it out on my own. … Continue reading On My Own
Digital Art Journaling
Using gradients, public domain photos, my photos, textures, light leaks, texts, cut outs, and digital scrapbooking paper, I have spent the afternoon art journaling on my phone. It feels so good! It's very enriching and cathartic. Welcome to my creative space, where I strive to reap the therapeutic benefits of art. Making these art journal … Continue reading Digital Art Journaling
Life at Home 