Silence is silky, feminine. A soft voice is an earthly slice of paradise. My husband talks for me a lot. I lean on him heavily in stores and at restaurants, and in a variety of social situations. Exclusivity makes femininity a treat. Not everyone gets access to me. I speak to people who interest me and make me feel comfortable. My husband is a buffer between me and the world. Non traditional, feminist women don’t have that buffer. They must weather every passing storm until their skin and eyes show the strain. In submission, I can retreat to a land of peace.
I’m that woman who can see the romance in the way Emily Dickinson lived. I don’t desire to be shut in against my will, but cloistering myself sometimes appeals to me. My house is essentially a writers/artists colony of one. I have a huge library of books, and I’m always writing. Art supplies are everywhere, and every day I create something new. I encourage my daughter and our exchange student to create as well.
Submitting to my husband means not worrying about big decisions. Letting him speak for me means rest and relaxation.
Life at Home 
Emily Dickinson was agoraphobic and suffered from nervous prostration and was always laid up in bed. She was afraid of the world. Being a homebody is one thing. Being a stay at home parent is one thing. Being an artist with a husband patron is one thing. But letting your husband speak and make decisions for you and wishing you were Emily Dickinson is wishing to be unnecessarily hobbled. If you can make artistic decisions and parenting decisions, speaking and ordering are well within your wheelhouse. Why deprive your husband of the joy of being silent? Would he not like to be silky? Does he warrant no exclusivity? Are men so low as to be wanton sluts, doing whorish things like talking to people? Where’s the respect for his perfection so great he must be hidden from the world? Not hiding your man from the world is a sign you don’t care about him. You are not bedridden. Give your husband the gift of being silent and order at the restaurant once in a while.
Men are different than women and have different needs. My husband does not need or want to be silent. And it’s not about perfection. I am far from perfect. It’s about serenity and safety. I order for myself when I need to, but my husband likes doing it for me.
Truly curious- what about men who are more like you? Ones that are shy or anxious, who shy away from confrontation even when they’re in the right? I am the buffer between my husband and the world. I am the one who speaks, I am the one who fights. He is a wonderful man, a loving provider, but we are both happy with the balance between us. Because he’s the less strong personality and has less stomach for interaction for people, is he less of a man?
I would say your husband has a feminine personality to a degree, but as long as he would stand up and fight if necessary, and as long as he provides, it’s ok. I wouldn’t be happy with that dynamic. Stereotypically, I am the quiet one. But if this works for you and your husband and you are both happy, it’s ok. I believe you were designed to be his helper, whatever that might entail.