Ambition

I used to be a very ambitious person, but now I don’t really have any ambition. This has allowed me to embrace my life as is and enjoy the moment. I’m not always looking over the horizon to the next thing. Peace has become my default mode.

I used to want to be published and well known/widely read. I still think of publishing one of my books, but now I plan to self-publish, and I would be content to have just a couple of readers. And I have no desire to compete for a job in academia. Being at home gives me a sense of safety and purpose. I don’t want to enter the workforce again ever. Having a job does not appeal to me. Feminists seem funny because they are so hyper focused on including and promoting women in the workforce. But who in their right mind would rather sit in an office all day than be in their own home? Who would rather push paper than be with their child? On what planet is it better to work for a boss and be on the clock than it is to work on your own schedule and in your own environment? When I get up in the morning, my day is mine. Yes I must be productive, and that’s okay. I want to be productive. But I’m not on anyone else’s clock and answer only to my husband.

Once upon a time, I did not understand people who don’t have ambition, but now, for women at least, I get it. Ambition is unnecessary for women. We need ambition like a moth needs a ladder. It’s superfluous. Men need a certain amount of ambition to get ahead for their families, but past a certain point, even men don’t need it. Once you have a job that pays enough to take care of your family, it doesn’t really matter if you continue to move up. My husband is very ambitious, and I admire him for it, but I feel so much less stressed now that I’m not.