Instability

The mood swings are killing me, and I get suicidally low. And every time I think things are improving, they go back down.

I’m exhausted and struggling to keep up. My nerves are frayed. I do everything from napping to practicing art therapy, and still, I do not feel good. I had a heart ultrasound (forget what they called it) today, and I almost left before the appointment started because of the anxiety I was having. Tomorrow I have to go back to the hospital for an unrelated test. The test will take a few hours, and I’m already nervous. I just want to hide in the bedroom. Right now I’m in my upstairs art room trying to get some sunshine.