I struggle with the Catholic teaching on being open to life, but I must also count the 2,000 year old Church as wiser than myself. For health reasons, as I’ve discussed, another pregnancy would be bad for me. But in general I have to admit, birth control has been a demographic and societal disaster. Promiscuity exploded, abortion became rampant (because birth control isn’t 100 percent effective), and families that normally could have afforded several children are having one or two for lifestyle reasons. The coming population collapse is going to have far reaching consequences. And then the economy got worse and worse so that many people couldn’t afford kids. I’m certainly not saying birth control is the only factor in population decline, but obviously it’s a huge one.
As I become more and more convicted that the Protestant reformers were wrong, and my views begin to change to be in line with the Catholic Church, I have to consider my previous posts about not denying your husband. The Church teaches that intimacy should be open to life, but also that it is okay to agree to abstain from intimacy for periods of time when having children could be disastrous for economic, medical, or other reasons. That means that if your husband can’t support another baby, and you can’t use contraception, then you can, and in fact must, tell your husband you are unavailable.
If you don’t have severe physical or mental health issues, and you would be able to buy food and keep the lights on, you shouldn’t deny your husband. But sometimes people just feel overwhelmed. Catholic theology forces a couple closer in this sense; a man has to be an involved father, support his family, and be good to his wife because if he is not, and she is too overworked, exhausted, or stretched thin, she can say no – particularly during her most fertile window. A man is incentivized further to take good care of his family.
Supposedly it also does this because by not “rejecting” your partner’s fertility and accepting them in totality. I don’t completely see that. I never felt rejected by my husband not being open to my fertility. I was grateful.
So what will I do with my posts that advocate for total sexual availability? I’m not sure. I don’t intend to hide or deny my previous views. In no way do I wish to be dishonest. I have preached the value of complete sexual availability, and truthfully if you decide to take birth control anyways, you shouldn’t deny your spouse. If there’s low risk to health and finances because he’s wrapped and you’re on the pill, denying your husband is selfish. But ultimately I hope everyone finds the Catholic Church. I’m still researching, but the evidence for it is strong. And honestly I think Protestantism is collapsing into chaos and irrelevance on the whole. So I hope people find their way, as I have, to the original Church where Christ isn’t removed from the crosses at the front of the sanctuary.
Life at Home 