Weekend

I am so excited about this weekend! My friend L, my daughter A, and I will be hanging out! We are getting a hotel room. We’ll be going to the pool and out to eat and maybe shopping. L is A’s godmother, which is why she’s coming along. A loves L.  That and the fact she is becoming a little lady and I think she will enjoy this. At the very least, I know she’ll love the pool!

I’ve been trying to perk up this week. The loss of memory (short term and long term) is still deeply upsetting me. I’m just pushing it down to deal with it later. I haven’t lost everything. I have some memory left. But I’m not what I was. If I think too much on it, I’ll cry again.

Because my brain has been wiped like a hard drive, I realize the importance of memory keeping. Photos, scrapbooking, diary keeping, video. All of it is essential now because if I want a life to look back on, I need to have recorded it. I enjoy doing all of these things, so that’s good at least. It’s only that I hate knowing that now every photograph is super important. If I put the camera down to be present in the moment, I likely will not get to make the memory with my family.  But it isn’t exactly bad to have an excuse to journal and scrapbook. I must take the lemon I’ve been given and make as much lemonade as I can.