Somehow, it has become controversial even among some “Christian” women to say that when your husband wants to have sex with you, you should say yes. Scripture says, “Do not deny yourselves to each other, unless you first agree to do so for a while in order to spend your time in prayer; but then resume normal marital relations. In this way you will be kept from giving in to Satan’s temptation because of your lack of self-control.” That’s 1 Corinthians 7:5. Scripture doesn’t say have sex if you feel like it or that a headache is a good excuse. It lays out a specific scenario where you can both agree to abstain for prayer, but we are all instructed to resume sexual relations because we lack self control.
Self control is something everyone should seek to cultivate, but none of us are perfect. If you want to send your husband off to work every morning sexually unsatisfied, that’s your choice but just be aware it isn’t wise. No one should ever cheat, but most men have sexual needs. Many women do too. If that isn’t you, you may not understand it, but rejecting your husband (because that is how he likely feels when you turn him down) puts him in a world of water when you’ve left him thirsty.
It would be the same for a husband with a low sex drive to deny his wife sexual pleasure if she has a big drive. There’s no excuse for sleeping with the man next door or whatever, but a certain percentage of unsatisfied wives will fall into sin. Denying your partner leads to sin. Scripture makes it clear we should not do that.
Sex should be mutually pleasurable, but some women just don’t like doing it or feel pain (which cannot always be fixed). And that sucks. But if you love your husband you will want to give him pleasure, whether you feel it or not. That’s self sacrifice. That’s love. I don’t mean if you are screaming in agony that you should continue. But if it just hurts or is uncomfortable, that’s no reason to deny your spouse. It’s unpopular to say, but it is true. Some people act like I’m making this up. But I literally inserted the scripture above in this post. It is not up for debate. ” He never vacuums” or “he doesn’t get me flowers” are not reasons to withhold sex. Don’t use sex as a weapon. It will break your bond with your husband.
Feminism encourages women to have as much sex as possible before marriage and as little as possible after. That is demonic. That is an inversion and perversion of God’s design. Reject selfishness. Give your body freely to the man you pledged yourself too.
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