I’m so tired of hearing the phrase toxic masculinity. There is no such thing. Masculinity is inherently positive. If a man is controlling or violent, that’s not masculinity. Those are character flaws, flaws that many women have too.
What is masculinity? It’s the beautiful thing that makes men men. Masculinity is daring and bold, uafraid to answer new challenges and break new ground. It is protective toward women and children. It was pure masculinity that prompted the man on the Titanic to give the lifeboats to the women and children.
Masculinity provides for the needs of one’s wife, kids, church, and community. Masculinity also protects us at home and abroad. When we hear something, go bump in the night my husband gets up to check it rather than send me. That’s masculinity, and there’s nothing toxic about it.
If you’re going to say that masculinity can be toxic, then you need to say that femininity can be also. I would argue that both masculinity and femininity are purely positive things, but women are not perfect either, and many women have a lot of work they need to do on themselves, myself included. How about we call shrill nagging toxic femininity? Or disobeying your husband? Or being late and taking forever to get ready (which is self-centered)? None of us here are saints. We are all sinners. Can we have more grace for the men who struggle on this Earth beside us, often putting themselves through stresses and risks so that we don’t have to?
Life at Home 