I might catch some heat for this one, but when you marry, you gift your body to your husband. The Bible is very clear that denying your spouse sex for any reason besides an agreed upon fast from it to pray is wrong.
But honestly, even if you’re not Christian, you shouldn’t deny your husband sex. For most men, regular sex is a need. When you got married, your husband promised to be faithful to you and to be intimate with you and only you for the rest of his life. Cheating is never permissable, but why open up your husband to a world of temptation by leaving him sexually frustrated all the time because you are frigid? Why not make his fidelity easy? The fact is, if you don’t want to have sex with your husband, some other woman will want to.
It’s fine to say no while you heal from childbirth. If you are very sick, your husband shouldn’t ask. I try to say yes even when I don’t feel well, but if I’m really sick my husband doesn’t expect sex. It’s ok to say no in the event of illness. But I mean true illness, not the headache that magically manifests every time he tries to get frisky, and you don’t feel like it.
What about when you are tired and just really don’t feel like it? All of us, even those of us who enjoy sex, have been there before. Well, if you tell your husband no and he forces you, that’s rape. But the key to keeping your man happy is not saying no. Despite what many feminists will tell you, just because you don’t feel turned on doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have sex. Sometimes, it is a sacrificial act of love for your husband. You aren’t doing it for you. Sometimes, it’s not about you in your marriage, and that includes your sex life. It’s okay for a night of passion to be about him. If you say no, it absolutely needs to be respected, but the right thing to do is to say yes and do your best to be an active participant to make your husband happy. He needs that tension released, and sex makes husbands feel loved. No matter how many times you tell your husband you love him, and no matter how much you might really feel you do, he will likely not feel that love if you are rejecting him in the bedroom. Sex is important in a marriage, and a husband that is denied that sacred union will feel hurt, rejected, and frustrated. You don’t need to be turned on every time. You need to think of how much you love him, and enjoy the feeling of making your man happy. If you really love someone, making them happy makes you happy.
Always be willing. My husband has never had to ask me twice. I’ve made that a goal from the beginning. I want to sexually satisfy my husband. And for the record, he wants to do the same for me. But during those times when I don’t feel like it and it just isn’t possible to get me in that kind of mood, I do it for his pleasure.
Life at Home 