A Good Friend Knows Pedestrians Are Speedbumps

What do I mean by that? Well, do you ever drive through a parking lot and get irritated with the dawdling pedestrians? Do you start assigning each of them a point value based on size and how easy they are to catch? Do you know that women in heels are worth fewer points, and athletic men are worth more? How many points can you rack up teaching future generations to get out of the road?

I need my friends to understand that and maybe even assign point values of their own. No, I would never actually run over any pedestrian. But I need a friend that understands why the thought crosses my mind. I love that my closest friends get me. They don’t judge me. They laugh with me. Obviously honesty and kindness and all those other assorted virtues are valuable too. But you can’t get into my headspace if you don’t see point values with every slow pedestrian that steps out in front of your car.