Submission is a subject I’m passionate about. I believe that when a wife submits to her husband and to God that her life becomes more beautiful. I grew up in a household with an extremely domineering woman, so I wasn’t raised that way. Submission, and headcovering, came to me later when I was already married. The first time I understood Paul’s verses about submission I cried. I could feel safe and taken care of by my godly husband, who I can trust.
What some advocates for submission don’t talk about is that you should be willing to submit at any time, but actual submission should only happen once in awhile.
Marriage is a beautiful partnership between two equal but distinctly different people. Issues should be discussed and spouses should come to an agreement. Submission is for when those big life decisions have to be made, and husband and wife cannot agree. Someone has to take the lead and make the call, and it should be the husband. However, husbands are called to love their wives like Christ loves the church. That means laying down his life for her. A godly man makes decisions that are good for the family, not just for him. That is how a woman can trust her husband enough to submit. You have to know that your husband is making this important life decision with your needs in mind.
Husbands should not be overbearing. Most of the time, if you discuss decisions with your wife, you should be able to come to an agreement. After all, she’s your wife not your child. She’s capable of giving wise advice and useful feedback. Actual submission should happen once in a great while. The rest of the time should be discussion and agreement. If you find yourself submitting to your husband constantly, your husband might be overbearing, and micromanaging you. That’s not godly. A servant leader, as a husband is called to be, should not control his wife.
Submission is beautiful and part of the sacrament of marriage. But it should not be abused.
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