We (as in women) need to put more energy into keeping up with our friends. Loneliness and depression are rampant among women, but yet many women will admit that they never text their friends. There’s a challenge going around to stop texting your friends 1st and see who the dead plants are. And some women are getting upset at this. But at some point you have to ask yourself, what do you expect? We put our time and energy into the things that we value. If you never put your time and energy into your friendships then you’ve made your values clear. We’re all adults, and we’re all busy with families or jobs or other things that keep adults busy. But at the same time a relationship cannot grow if you don’t water it. And it’s not just one friend’s job to water it. I saw where 1 woman lamented that she’s not a dead plant and that she just is so busy with her kids that she can’t water her relationships, but that she loves her friends dearly anyways. But if your sick friends can’t even count on you to check in on them, or if you never text the other person 1st, why should they continue to text you?
It’s an incredibly self centered attitude. Guess what? Your friends have kids and jobs and lives too. Are you saying that you just think your friends who text you 1st don’t have lives? Because presumably they have lives just like you do. But yet for 5 or 10 minutes today they made it a priority to see how you were doing and see if you wanted to get together. If she can do it, so can you. Just be honest about where your priorities are.
It’s bad for our mental health to isolate ourselves from our friends. When you spend so many hours a day determinedly entertaining your children like a human entertainment system, you’re not doing your children or yourself any favors. It’s good for the soul to talk to a good friend. Adults need adult conversation. It’s ok to put the toddler down and phone a friend for a few minutes.
I’ll be honest. I am usually the one to text first. Some might argue that because I have one child and she’s older now I have more time, but I have always been this way. Even when I was up all night with a baby being sick or rushing around to pediatrician appointments or trying to entertain a two year old I texted 1st. Eventually you just don’t feel valued as a friend. So you kind of drift away because it is a dead plant. Women can be so selfish. When they need something suddenly they know your number. Or when they get bored. I value my friends and want them to feel like the cherished part of my life that they are. I think this challenge is a great idea. It will let you know who is invested in your life. My time is precious too. I’m going to prioritize those who prioritize me.
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